November 30, 2018

As I sat in the kitchen chair of our apartment in Morocco, a friend of mine dropped a certain line that will, most likely, stick with me forever.

“You can’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to see you win,” she said.

This sentence resonates with what I am currently going through. You see, everybody has a different standpoint or understanding when it comes to love or relationship. We think that loving somebody is enough or just trying to be there for somebody is enough–well, it’s not. There is so much more to a relationship than just the emotional feeling and physical aspect of it all. Believe me, I know, because I have been there.

Love is a many splendid things, indeed. Love is beautiful, and it can bring joy to two people who share it…but it’s not always easy. When we say that we love someone, we think that the feeling we have is enough or it’s enough to just be there for them. It’s not. Loving someone means that you have to be able to understand what they’re going through. It’s important to make them feel like you care for them and that you support their dreams. Mostly, it’s important that you make your significant other feel like you will always be there for them to support their dreams and aspirations in life.

“Do you not want a chance at a real life? You cannot do it by yourself,” an ex boyfriend told me via text.

These words crushed my spirit in the most painful way. How come? To be honest, how can these words come out of somebody who’s supposed to love you and be there for you? These words had me thinking for quite a while if I was worthy of being loved, or if I was good enough to pursue my passion and dreams in life. Because if this person thinks I cannot do it by myself, them who am I to think that I can actually do it by myself? That used to be my mentality, because this had me very depressed.

As the days turned into months, I have learned a very important lesson: patience. You see, people will doubt you and lovers will come and go. But you will remain yourself. The love that lovers feel will simply fade away–although, not everybody’s. I used to always think that I will never be good enough, because some guys that I have dated just made me feel that way. But that doesn’t always have to be the case.

You see, you cannot be with somebody who thinks so low of you. If they feel like you cannot reach your dreams by yourself and that’s why you need them, then love is simply not there. Sometimes when fear creeps into someone’s heart, selfishness just comes pouring in. The love they would feel is not a love for their significant others, but a love for themselves. Sometimes they actually break through this bondage, but more often than not, they end up hurting you in the process of finding themselves. This is why it is so important that you know who you are, first and foremost, before you go into a relationship. In this way, we don’t lose track of ourselves or our souls. Because this world can be so distracting, but knowing who we really are helps.

Loving someone is one of the most genuine thing that a person can ever do–but it can also lead to selfishness. I guess, we just have to really think about who we love and why we love. Because if not, getting into a relationship can be pretty confusing.

You can’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to see you win. This is something that I will always remind myself when choosing someone to love or be with. Because I have made wrong choices before, and it lead to some dead end. I even ended up having a broken heart and a crushed spirit. But I know better now, and I hope that you know that it’s not to late to choose the right one.

You can’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to see you win. Being reminded this is probably one of the things that I will always thank myself for. You should remind yourself of this truth too. If you think that your significant others doesn’t want to see you win, then they only love themselves and not you. Sadly, this is one truth that is painful but it will probably lead to something better. As I like to say, we are moving onto better things.

You can’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to see you win. It’s as simple as that. It really is.

So the next time you love someone, remind yourself of this truth: you can’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to see you win.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Luke 6:37 NIV

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