They say that patience is a virtue. I say, it’s a virtue that not many people have.
I have thought about writing about this particular topic for quite a while now, but I just can’t seem to find the right words to do so–that’s why I have been putting it off. Today, I think I finally might know right the words to say (or write).
In today’s generation, some people still look down on people who are single. Why wouldn’t they? I mean, it is the 21st Century after all. Hooking up with people who you have no intentions of dating is a norm now. Dating apps are all over the place so it is easy to find ‘somebody’ to be with.
But is it really?
I am not a very patient person either and I tend to question most things that are happening in my life. I tend to question God on certain things that He let happen to me. I tend to be weak and to succumb to these earthly habits. I am not perfect, but I am slowly learning to look up to God and to try to be more like Him.
In today’s generation, dating is on a whole other level. Guys (not all, of course) take pride on how many women they have ‘banged’, and sometimes women do too. It’s sad, if I am going to be honest. I always say to my friends that maybe I was born into the wrong generation. I am a ‘millennial’ and most generations look down on us. I don’t really blame them. They have their reasons.
Singleness is a gift, if I may say so. You get all the time in the world to discover and rediscover yourself, your passions, and what you’re looking for in a partner. It is a great gift because God is making you wait. I know, that does not really sound that pleasant, but it is. In this season of waiting, God is teaching you a lesson. God is teaching you to be strong, to be independent, to love yourself more, and to be patient.
For people like myself, who function better alone, being single is a really great thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love being in a relationship and I love falling in love. It’s just, it’s hard to find someone when you are so caught up in life’s choices and your self drama. I learned that the hard way. I wasn’t ready. God knew that. I didn’t. I blamed Him for my failed relationships, and sometimes I look back and think to myself, “I could’ve done this…” or “I should’ve been more like this…” or “If I weren’t like this, he would’ve still be here.” I blamed myself a lot, and it wasn’t a very healthy thing to do. All these time that I have been blaming myself and drowning in self pity, I discovered that God was teaching me a lesson. I was so stubborn and I could not let go, so He had to personally take it away from me. Believe me, it was hard and it was very painful. I literally felt my heart being ripped away from my chest, and I am not exaggerating. In every waking moment, I feel the complete emptiness in my life like there is some gaping hole that needed to be filled. I turned toward earthly vices but they weren’t enough.
In my pain, I found beauty. In desperation, I found hope. In the darkness, I found myself. It is true that God never lets us down, and He never takes without replacing it with something so much better than what He took. I am still on the verge of learning and acceptance. It is never easy, as a matter of fact, it is very hard. But believe me when I tell you this; it will be worth it.
Singleness is a time of rediscovery and a time for love. Humans aren’t perfect. We make mistakes and we get broken a lot of times. But in this season, we should be aiming for success. In our season of waiting, we should be patient and kind and hopeful. Do not rush into something that you know is bad for you. Do not participate in things that will drag you down. Do not lose yourself in trying to save another person. Being single is a great thing and it brings most people joy. Be contented with who you are because if you aren’t then what makes you think you will be contented with someone else? Be happy with yourself. Be hopeful that God will get you through this season. Be faithful, always. When the time is right, I know that God will lead us to our ‘special someone’. She/He will be so special that we will know instantly that she/he is the one we’ve been waiting and preparing for all along. So don’t despair in your season of waiting. Instead, grow in love and find yourself hidden in God.
Patience is a virtue that we all must have.
“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.”
Psalm 119:114 NIV