August 7, 2018

I had a different topic in mind when I was thinking about what I should post this week. But something inside me had this urge to write about what I am feeling at this exact moment. I feel like I am still moving on from everything. I am feeling a lot of things, but I am going to try to put them into words one by one.

They say that to move on is a very strong thing to do. Is it really? I feel like I’ve always had this burden inside of me that I’ve been carrying all these time. It is making me weak. It is making me an emotional mess. It is making me sad as the days pass by. This had been my life for the past 7 months. It’s been hard.

But lately, I have been feeling different. Like there was something that ignited a change. Like there had been a sudden burst of happiness inside of me. I felt wonderful. I don’t really know what happened or what triggered it, but I feel so much lighter now.

I knew, right then and there, that I have moved on.

It hasn’t been easy. I was so slow in doing it. But in the end, I’ve decided that enough is enough. I had to change my ways, and I needed to trust God in everything that He is doing in my life.

Moving on is a choice. When somebody leaves us, it hurts us like crazy. It feels catastrophic, like we can never recover again. It feels painful, and it feels like our hearts have been ripped out of chests. But in these moments, we have the choice to let this pain make us or break us. Some people choose the latter, but it shouldn’t be this way. We should always make the choice to let the pain be our friend. Like a friend, this should help us in our journey to recovery.

Moving on takes time. It depends on our own pacing in life. Some people take a few weeks, a few months or a few years. Some people takes no time at all. Really, it’s according to our own time frame. In this process, we need to take our time. We need to see how we feel ourselves. We need to heal, so that the next time that we love, we are fully healed.

Moving on is an art form. I think moving on is the subtlest art form there is. It is also the purest, because in these times, we discover who we truly are and what we truly want in life.

It took me quite a while to do it, but I am so happy to say that my heart is fully healed and that I have recovered. Finally. So the next time I love somebody, I would be glad to give him my whole heart that’s healed, happy, and ready to love again.

Also, we should never rush into a relationship when we know that we aren’t ready and fully recovered yet. Because it will only end in disaster, and one person is always end up going to get hurt badly. So be true to yourself, trust God, and be kind to your heart.

Today, I looked into a mirror. The girl standing in front of me was still me. I am still the girl who loved a lot of things. So I whispered to myself, “I’m so proud of you.”

P.S. Thank you to everyone who helped me in my journey to overcome the pain. You guys know who you are. I love you all endlessly.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4

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