I AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY LOST, BUT THAT’S OKAY

For a person who likes planning so much, this is a very weird situation to be in, if I might be honest. I’ve basically wrote down my entire life in bullet points:

• study hard
• get my degree
• get a job that i actually like
• travel the world
• get married
• be happy
• grow old with my love

Well, guess what? Life has it’s own way of fucking up our self made bullet points.

I thought graduating university and getting my degree would make me a whole new and different person. It didn’t. Well, maybe it did, just not on a level that I expected it to be. I thought jobs would come to me after graduating with awards and a high GPA, they didn’t. I thought I could finally move to the city that I’ve been longing to live in ever since I could remember, I couldn’t. There are a lot of things that I thought were going to go as planned, but didn’t. These are the things that I planned using my bullet points. But then again, life is a bitch–a very spontaneous one at that! Life doesn’t like bullet points, believe me.

But you know what? The most random of places + decisions lead me to the best experiences I’ve had in my life. From boarding a plane that I thought was going to take me to New York, but ended up waking in Frankfurt, to dancing around the streets of Bangkok, these are the most unplanned things I’ve experienced. And yes, they were some of the best memories I’ve cherished in my lifetime.

It’s okay to be lost. It’s okay to not know what to do, or where to go. It’s okay to not have everything planned. Because trust me, when things don’t go the way you planned them, it can get very frustrating! So I guess we all just have to go where the wind takes us, and God, of course!

For now, I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. I’m working in my day job, I’m waiting for my love to come home to me, I’m saving money to go back to travelling, and yes, I’m slowly starting to figure things out.

Be patient, little ones. Life is one hell of a journey, and it’s the journey that we all wouldn’t want to miss. So sit back, relax, trust God, and enjoy the ride.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us–whatever we ask–we know that we have what we asked of him.”

1 John 5:14-15 NIV