March 7, 2017

Being a girl with big dreams from a small town in a third world is pretty crazy. Everybody will just keep on nagging you, “Why are you not working yet?” or “Why’d you quit your job if it pays really well?” or better yet, “Why would you give up a stable career just to travel and make art? You won’t make money doing those things.” These are some of the questions that I’ve been hearing from none other than my family and some friends from the past year (since i graduated from university, lel). Honestly, it kills me and it makes my head hurt.

Yesterday, my Grandma and Uncle set me up on an interview to work as a real estate agent. I have no background in sales whatsoever or in real estate, but it pays good, or so they say. So I went to the interview and surprisingly, I got the job. I got a job! However, it doesn’t feel right. It didn’t make me feel good. I wasn’t happy.

Earlier, my Grandma told me to get a job in a bank. What the fuck (sorry for the language) am I going to do in a bank?

I know that they’re probably just concerned for me and that they just want what’s best for me, but how can they know what’s best for someone if they don’t even know or respect what that someone’s goals, dreams and aspirations are?

I know what I want. Crazily, I want a lot of things. I want to travel to all 197 counties. I want to get my book published (still working on getting an agent and a publisher, ugh). I want to be a part of a major theatre production. I want to win my own Tony! I want to make film that’ll take me to the Oscars. I want to open my own clothing shop. I want to be happy. I want to make art. I want to be able to do the things that I think are worth living. Well, not necessarily in that order, but you do get the point. Crazy, these dreams of mine are too good to be true. But they’re my dreams, and I’m living every single day to make them all happen one step at a time.

I’ve finished my novel and I’m proofreading it now to send it to publishers. I’ll be launching my new clothing shop, Paraluman’s, on the 13th of March 2017! Crazy, I know! I’ve been making short films with my extremely talented bunch of friends. I’ve been writing plays. I’ve been travelling non-stop for the past two years just to experience more of this beautiful world we live in, and there’s so much more!

Just because I am not working at an office wearing itchy blazers means I’m lazy or that I’m not going to be someone in life. It just means, that’s not what I want to do with my life. I have my own dreams and my life is supposed to be lived by myself according to my own terms. Don’t let others make you feel inferior and make them doubt your dreams. I’ve doubted myself a lot of times because I let the negativity in, but I’m not going to that any longer. You shouldn’t too.

When times get rough and when all makes no sense, just remember your dreams and don’t forget that your dreams are worth working hard for. Whatever your dreams may be, remember that in the end, it’ll all be worth it. Of course, work hard to achieve them.

It’ll all be worth it in the end!

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.”

2 Thessalonians 3:5 NIV

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