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ALONE IN THE BEAUTY OF MY OWN SHADOW

June 11, 2019

“Why won’t you go with other people? Isn’t it sad going all by yourself?”

These are questions that people always, always ask me. For the longest time, my answer to this would be just to shrug and say, “I don’t know.”

But in reality, I perfectly know why I go and explore alone. I know, and today, I’m telling you my side of the story.

For every trip that I embark on, I always ask my friends if they wanted to come and just see the world together. Their answers would simply be, “I don’t know. I’m not as brave as you, and I don’t think I can do it.” I kid you not, that’s all they ever say.

For every adventure (i.e. plays, events, short trips) that I go to, I always ask my friends if they wanted to tag along and just simply have fun together. Their answers would always be, “I don’t know. I have to check my schedule, and I’ll let you know.” Unfailingly, they have failed to get back to me. Funny, but not really.

So you see, I don’t wait around for people to come with me or for people to go on these adventures with me. Had I waited, I’m pretty sure I’d still be in the Philippines bumming around and probably working in an office. No offense to everyone working in an office, but you get the picture. Waiting around is simply not a trait that I have in me. I hate waiting, and I’m probably the most impatient person you will ever meet.

Seeing the world has always been my dream, and I’m very happy to say that I’ve seen a lot of things, places and culture. I may have been alone, but it doesn’t make it less fun. That is the truth that some people struggle to understand. I’m very much happy when I’m alone. I have grown accustomed to my own company, and I, very much, prefer it than mingling with people who doesn’t enjoy the same things as me. Truth be told, I find solace in my own company. I’m perfectly fine, and I’m rather enjoying it.

This is the season in my life where I have to be braver, kinder, and just plain happier to be alone. I’d like to think that I’m doing a great job, because I’ve never ever felt braver, kinder, and happier.

The reality is that I’m not afraid to feel things, to see things, and to create memories all on my own. I’d like to think that this is one of my strengths, and this is a strength that I’m immensely proud of. I’m very happy to be free and to not wait on people to come and experience these things with me. I’m very happy, and it’s ridiculous how I’m typing this with a massive smile on my face. Life can be ridiculously amazing, and I’m just so proud to be standing on my own two feet.

To all mes amies who would like to come and go on adventures with me, you are more than welcome to do so. I enjoy other people’s company every here and there, but do know that I don’t and will never wait for people. They say that patience is a virtue, to which I say, this is a virtue that I don’t have.

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

Psalm 46:5 NIV

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